Can he embarrass us any more?

Just look at this twit on vacation:



At least the original Urkel had a cool ride:


While we're on it, at least the original Urkel had a fine girl too:


Chaka, without the Khan:


This new Urkel is just not cutting it. I can't wait to cancel this bad rerun in 2012...

Welcome Back Kotter

Yes folks, I have returned! And in celebration of that, I bring you a song that quantifies a lot of what has been going on in my life these past few months, but The Big Feed is not the place for me to lament my troubles, I save that for my joint.

However, in a larger context, I think this song compliments nicely the events yesterday at Glenn Beck's rally in D.C.  My dad kept asking me over the week leading up to the rally, "What do you think Beck is up to with this thing?"  Well, I couldn't really answer it, although a nebulous and dim idea floated around my head for a few days that I just couldn't quite grasp or form into a concrete idea.  But after viewing yesterday's events, I see exactly the purpose and my hunch was confirmed. Beck exposed the left, and particularly Al Sharpton and his ilk, for exactly what they are:  Haters.

Now, some music.  This was recorded well before the advent of MTV and music videos and another tasty little tidbit, and something you would NEVER see these days, this video was performed and recorded live.  Nearly flawless.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Ali in Love

Ah Friday....

Actually, HowHeDoThat, I thought you put the remix up

When I first saw your post below I thought you had put the remix of that news story up. Not sure you've seen this but this is what I was talking about in my comment regarding talent out there.

Hide Your Wife, Your Kids And Your Husband

Cause they raping everbody up in here.

Oh Snap! - Rangel Takes a Shot at Obama

Not that I'm defending Rangel, but Obama has a way of speaking about things he shouldn't. After Obama suggested Rangel retire with "dignity", Rangel responded:

“Frankly, he has not been around long enough to determine what my dignity is,” Mr. Rangel said of the 49-year-old Mr. Obama. “For the next two years, I will be more likely to protect his dignity.”

This could get good. Shades of when Rerun and Dwayne got into that big "frodown" at Rob's Place.

Here's a Story About a Bear and a Motorcycle

Incredible story.  So read it.

And here's a picture of the bear's claws.

Justice Department Looking for Ebonics Experts

Get the fu*k outta here??!!!??

See the link here that describes the linguists the DOJ is looking for.

I know Lil' Lav.  I know.

How to Deal with PETA

Dodge created a commercial that featured a monkey...



PETA complained...So Dodge re-cut the commercial

Ralph the Swimming Pig

In San Marcos, Texas, there used to be a tourist attraction called Aquarena Springs that featured a swimming pig, named Ralph.  I've never seen Ralph swim, but I did sit in my car in the parking lot of Aquarena Springs for about 10 minutes once, contemplating whether it was worth the $15 to see that pig swim.  I decided against because, as I figured it, a swimming pig was not all that amazing.  If I'm not mistaken, every animal, insect, foul, reptile, etc, except for human beings, has the natural ability to swim to some degree.  So, a swimming pig would not be all that remarkable.  Rather, what would be remarkable would be the type of person who would pay $15 dollars for a 10 minute show featuring women with large thighs in unattractive swimsuits frolicking with a swine that no doubt, had relieved itself in the pool water on numerous prior occasions.  But I didn't need to pay money to see those people.  I watched them.   Then I left and got some lime sherbert.  Kind of a crappy day now that I think about it.  

UPDATE:  I did some hands on research.  I stand corrected.  Not all God's creatures have the natural ability to swim.  Anyone know where I can find a hermit crab on a Sunday afternoon?  The kids will be home in a couple of hours.

In San Marcos, Texas, there used to be a tourist attraction called Aquarena Springs that featured a swimming pig, named Ralph.  I've never seen Ralph swim, but I did sit in my car in the parking lot of Aquarena Springs for about 10 minutes once, contemplating whether it was worth the $15 to see that pig swim.  I decided against because, as I figured it, a swimming pig was not all that amazing.  If I'm not mistaken, every animal, insect, foul, reptile, etc, except for human beings, has the natural ability to swim to some degree.  So, a swimming pig would not be all that remarkable.  Rather, what would be remarkable would be the type of person who would pay $15 dollars for a 10 minute show featuring women with large thighs in unattractive swimsuits frolicking with a swine that no doubt, had relieved itself in the pool water on numerous prior occasions.  But I didn't need to pay money to see those people.  I watched them.   Then I left and got ice cream.  Kind of a crappy day now that I think about it.   

Ralph the Swimming Pig

In San Marcos, Texas, there used to be a tourist attraction called Aquarena Springs that featured a swimming pig, named Ralph.  I've never seen Ralph swim, but I did sit in my car in the parking lot of Aquarena Springs for about 10 minutes once, contemplating whether it was worth the $15 to see that pig swim.  I decided against because, as I figured it, a swimming pig was not all that amazing.  If I'm not mistaken, every animal, insect, foul, reptile, etc, except for human beings, has the natural ability to swim to some degree.  So, a swimming pig would not be all that remarkable.  Rather, what would be remarkable would be the type of person who would pay $15 dollars for a 10 minute show featuring women with large thighs in unattractive swimming suits frolicking with a swine that no doubt, had relieved itself in the pool water on numerous occasions.  But I didn't need to pay money to see those people.  I  

Most Every Man Has Been Here Before

A song most every man can identify with at least one time in his life. This is just brilliant. NSFW.

And Now for Something Completely Different

Don't read anything into it.   Or do.  Es macht nicht.

Saturday Night's All Right For Fightin'

Sexy Kung Fu Fighters.

The Stimulus Bridge to Nowhere

True story.  In New Hampshire...

A historic stone arch bridge that received more than $150,000 in federal stimulus funds this year has fallen short of some people’s expectations — mainly because it doesn’t go anywhere.

According to Recovery.gov, the government website that tracks spending through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the town of Hillsborough received $150,045 in stimulus funding to repair the bridge.

A project description on the ARRA website explains that the project was intended to preserve and resurface the bridge to “better accommodate pedestrians and bicycles.” The website also claims that the project created 1.90 jobs, including laborers and equipment operators. Given that the bridge does not connect to any existing roads, some have begun to question the span’s usefulness to bicyclists and pedestrians, and whether federal tax dollars could have gone to better use.

I'm Kenny Powers And Your Not!

Blow Up Barack

Separated at Birth

Here is a high school photo Dem. Rep. Anthony Weiner (pronounced "weener") posted on himself.

And here is a picture of Screech.

h/t weasel zippers

Back to the Future

This chucklehead thinks this is a good idea. But is there room for Barney? Dino? Wilma? Fail.

The Agenda

AGENDA: Grinding America Down (Trailer) from Copybook Heading Productions LLC on Vimeo.

Navy Man Gets His Panties in a Wad Over "Offensive" Call Sign

Ask yourself. Do really need this guy on that wall (obscure Few Good Men reference)?

A pilot who struggles to fit into his flight suit can be dubbed "Shamu." But as barriers to the once insular, made-up-of-white-men world have fallen — first to minorities, then women and, maybe soon, openly gay personnel — what's an edgy call sign to one person could be seen as an offensive epithet by another. (See pictures of the U.S. Air Force.) That's what led Ensign Steve Crowston to complain, he says, after Navy aviators in Strike Fighter Squadron 136 in Oceana, Va., considered many humiliating call signs for him before settling on "Romo's Bitch," a reference to their suspicion that the fan of Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was gay.

 Crowston says the various options had been written on a whiteboard for an Aug. 17, 2009, "call-sign review" in the unit's ready room, where more than a dozen officers would decide which one would be most appropriate for several new squadron members. "I saw my name at the top of the board, and I saw 'Gay Boy,' 'Fagmeister,' 'Romo's Bitch,' 'Redskins,' 'Cowgirl' written underneath. I was stunned and shocked that I was sitting in the ready room with those kinds of words up on the board," Crowston says. "The commanding officer and executive officer" — the unit's top two officers — "were voting members, and they allowed the whole room to vote on my call sign. They went line by line, word by word, and they voted, and the one that got the most votes was 'Romo's Bitch.' " 

Tuesday Toofer

2 never released videos from the Stones.

"These Voices Don't Speak for the Rest of Us"

One of these is not like the other...

Mike Singletary, er uh, Michelle Obama and some friends going to brunch...

Drink Much Vodka Russia?

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life...

As Muscovites suffer record high temperatures this summer, a Russian political scientist has claimed the United States may be using climate-change weapons to alter the temperatures and crop yields of Russia and other Central Asian countries.

In a recent article, Andrei Areshev, deputy director of the Strategic Culture Foundation, wrote, "At the moment, climate weapons may be reaching their target capacity and may be used to provoke droughts, erase crops, and induce various anomalous phenomena in certain countries."

Someone Wake Her Up

Sheila Jackson Lee sleeps during a speech by America's first Muslim Congressman.  On second thought, let her sleep.  Far less dangerous that way.

8 Days to Attack

Thanks Russia!

News that Russia will load nuclear fuel rods into an Iranian reactor has touched off a countdown to a point of no return, a deadline by which Israel would have to launch an attack on Iran's Bushehr reactor before it becomes effectively "immune" to any assault, says former Bush administration U.N. Ambassador John R. Bolton.

Once the fuel rods are loaded, Bolton told Fox News on Friday afternoon, "it makes it essentially immune from attack by Israel. Because once the rods are in the reactor an attack on the reactor risks spreading radiation in the air, and perhaps into the water of the Persian Gulf." "So if it's going to happen in Bushehr it has to happen before the fuel rods go in," Bolton said.

The conversation that touched off the de facto deadline for Israeli military action was a telephone conversation with wire services involving Sergei Novikov, a spokesman for Rosatom, the Russian Energy State Nuclear Corp. Novikov said: "The fuel will be loaded on Aug 21. This is the start of the physical launch” of the reactor.

My Sexual Orientation...

should not be questioned just because I like this. I like women. Let's be clear on that.

Rumors of My Demise...

have been greatly exagerrated.  And to prove it, I give you this...A picture of my breakfast this morning.

 

Neshobanakni is ok!

Got an email from him last night. Ol' Nesho sent his apologies for not posting much lately but he's been very busy of late. Seems he's been collecting tar balls in the gulf and mailing them to all the dems he wants out of office. That's a lot of trips to the post office.

He also sent this really great Stones cover. Those tar balls don't like loud noises so he's gotta be real quite when laying down some tasty tracks.

Post again soon Nesho!

I generally don't like Wigga's...

..but when you combine a bunch of them with a horrible rap about global warming, you just really wish a tornado would touch down and take care of business.

See how long you can ride this one.

Some People Will Never Know

They just won't know what they're missing and they don't dine on swine.

On This Day In History

The Funniest and most Damning 16 seconds of video for the Lame Stream Media.

Take Me Home Big Feed

Take Me Home

Southern Culture # 12

Daytona - 1960

It's Sarcastic Fringehead Fish Week

Because anyone can celebrate Shark Week...

Canadian Health Care

Found this interesting post on a blog I visit every now and then (for obvious reasons). http://www.bodyrock.tv/

This isn't a political website so I find it pretty revealing in terms of a real world experience with the Canadian Helath Care system.

Yesterday Freddy started to have sharp pains in his foot. This is a bit strange since he can’t recall hurting his foot in anyway. When we took a look at the foot, it was very swollen and tender. Soon he wasen’t able to put any pressure on it at all. We called for a doctor’s office and the secretary said that there was no appointment available for 1 month. There was a chance to see the nurse practitioner the next day so we took it. Being from Europe, and the Czech Republic I found this situation incredibly strange. Why in a country like Canada would someone have to wait the better part of a month to see a Doctor? In Czech you can usually see a specialist the same day – that includes x-rays, scans and imaging etc. Freddy explained that he was lucky just to have a family Doctor, and that many people in his community don’t have a doctor at all. He also said that it can take 6-8 weeks or longer to see a specialist. This boggled my mind!
We wrapped his foot in an ice pack to numb down the pain and Freddy took a few advil’s. Today we went to the appointment to see the nurse practitioner. The nurse was a very nice woman and she took a lot of care to examine Freddy’s foot, which by now was swollen, red and incredibly painful to the slightest touch. The nurse actually went and grabbed the doctor so that she could get an additional opinion. They were not sure what the problem was, so they ordered some blood work and prescribed some anti-biotics. Freddy got some crutches on the way out (that he had to pay for – again this is strange for me) and off we went to the pharmacy. It turned out that none of the pharmacies in the city had any of the anti-biotics. The pharmacists explained each time that they had been out of stock for a month. This whole experience of Canadian health care just kept getting more scary for me. When we finally did manage to get an alternate medication in the 3rd drug store that we went to they gave Freddy a bill for $150. At home all of our drugs are covered by our health insurance which costs about $60 per month – this also includes coverage for eyes, dental care and hospitalization as well as most everything else. If you happen to pay extra costs it’s never more than a few dollars. Amazingly, having my wisdom tooth pulled out at home cost me the grand total of $1. When I went to the dentist here in Canada with an infection in my other wisdom tooth, just the check up was $100. I refused to have it pulled because it was going to cost more than I was willing to pay. I think that my tooth was even in shock because when they told me it was going to be hundreds of dollars to have it pulled, it immediately got better :) The next time I hear someone at home complaining about the Czech system I think that I am going to slap them.
Freddy is suppose to be taking it easy and not walking around, so we are going to have to brain storm a way to shoot the next workout. We will figure it out, so check back.
Best,
Zuzana

Go there and gawk till your hearts content by the way.

God help us if Obama Care is not stopped.

You've got change: 131,000 jobs lost

"Will someone hire my daddy away from this house? He got stinky butt!"
Devastating jobs numbers today. A mountain of "stimulus" dollars, your kids and grandkids money, poured down a sewer of self interest, Union ball lapping and cronyism. Change has really hit a brick wall this time folks. Dems are toast. The country will get even more angry now.

Oh did I mention there was a 97,000 downward revision to May and June?

Dear God what a complete and utter disaster of a president.

But as I've said before, this country, for some odd reason, needs to do this to itself every now and then. It needs to be face to face with an liberal, weak, nut job of a leader in order to heal itself. The US is crazy that way.

It's the repubs game now. Hope they don't eff it up.

Denver's Magic Red Bikes...And Why It Won't Work

One of these days, I'm going to die laughing and moonbat lunacy.

Denver taxpayers have supplied the city with magic red bikes.  In their own words:

Denver B-cycle is the first large-scale municipal bike sharing system in the United States. We are placing dozens of special bike stations (B-stations) in downtown Denver as well as the Cherry Creek and Denver University neighborhoods. Denver B-cycle members will be able to pick up one of the red bikes at any B-station and drop it off at any B-station.

That’s why we say it’s magic: a bike that’s there when you need it and gone when you don’t.

Here's a picture of a magic bike.

Denver is not the first city to discover the "magic bike". Here's a cautionary tale that we linked to last month:

The white bicycle program in Amsterdam was how my generation was going to prove our superiority to our capitalist elders. The idea was that these community bicycles would be shared by all. When you needed to go somewhere you just found a white bike and took it to your destination. You then left the bike on the street for the next comrade to use.

Our cooperation and love for our fellow man would ensure that the bikes were not abused. (remember, this was 1966, we had love in abundance, the streets were clogged with it) That's what it was supposed to be. But human nature was involved.

Why leave the bicycle on the street for the next guy when you knew you were going to have to make a return trip? What if it was gone when you came back? Best to take it inside then. And maybe take it inside when you got home too, because you know you've got to get to work early tomorrow... And maybe it'd be best to paint the thing black so that the busybody across the street will quit giving you a hard time about hoarding the bicycles.

Course everyone who used the bikes was in the same situation. And in the end, self interest trumped brotherly love. Within a month all the white bicycles were either stolen or thrown in the canals. Experiment over. Idealistic youth (including me) disillusioned. Well some were disillusioned. Others refused to learn from the evidence and became stuck hippies.

A Great Idea

Brilliant! Simply Brilliant! This idea from The Last Tradition:

I work in the Ground Zero area and I watched the twin towers of the World Trade Center fall from my office window.

It was a very scary thing to witness.

But, now is a time for healing!

With that in mind, I propose the building of the largest Mohammed’s Rib Shack and Victoria’s Secret Center in the world across the street from the Ground Zero Mosque.

Read the rest here.

Whitey Made Him Do It

Or was it the devil?  Is there a difference?

Omar Thornton sat calmly in a meeting with union representative and his supervisors as they showed a video of him stealing beer from the distributor where he worked.

Busted, he didn't put up a fight, company officials said. He quietly signed a letter of resignation and was headed for the door when he pulled out a gun and started firing — "cold as ice," as one survivor described it.

In the end, Thornton killed eight people, injured two, then turned the gun on himself in a rampage Tuesday at Hartford Distributors that union and company officials said they would not have anticipated from someone with no history of complaints or disciplinary problems.

Yet relatives say Thornton, 34, finally cracked after suffering racial harassment in a company where he said he was singled out for being black in a predominantly white work force.

After shooting his co-workers, Thornton hid as police moved in. He called his mother, who tried for 10 minutes to talk him out of killing himself, his uncle Will Holliday told reporters.

"He said, 'I killed the five racists that was there that was bothering me,'" Holliday said. "He said, 'The cops are going to come in so I am going to take care of myself.'"

Brett Hollander, whose family owns the distributor, denied any racial bias. And a union official said Thornton had not filed a complaint of racism with the union or any government agency.

Crackhead Monkeys Stealing Your Tax Money

Actually, you can't blame the monkeys. But you can blame the Democrats.

The Coburn-McCain report takes issue with stimulus spending on projects like one that entailed research on how cocaine affects monkeys. The Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center was awarded $71,623 to study what the report calls, "Monkeys Getting High for Science."

How Pilots Should Talk

It was a simpler time...

Ah the 70's... Back when a horrible disease was tame enough to simply help us loose weight. I miss those days.

Where are the Hells Angels when you need them?

Oh dear God... I only watched all the way through because I was hoping there would be a murder. Of the entire assembly hall.

East St. Louis: Hope and Change Gets Put to the Test

Will crime rates remain as they are? Or will hope and change run wild in the streets? I feel a whole lot of "teachable moments" coming on.

"It’s open field day now," said Tracy, the pastor of Straightway Baptist Church here. "The criminals are going to run wild." Gang activity. Drug dealing. Cold-blooded killing. Tracy worries that a decision to shrink the police force by almost 30 percent will bring more of everything.

The pastor voiced his concern on Friday at a raucous special City Council meeting at which East St. Louis Mayor Alvin Parks announced that the city will layoff 37 employees, including 19 of its 62 police officers, 11 firefighters, four public works employees, and three administrators. The layoffs take effect on Sunday.

Here's an idea for the pastor. Spend less time complaining about the mess your liberal politicians put you in and more time telling those who live amongst you to quit being turds.

 It all comes full circle...


 

Washington State's Most Wanted

I'm just sayin'...

Commie Tunes

Super Whacky Muslim Fun Time: Iranian Women Playing Rugby

This stuff just writes itself:

If the rugby-playing women of Iran's national sevens team had cauliflower ears, no-one could tell.

Kitted out in tight-fitting headscarves and full tracksuits to protect their modesty, the players caused quite a stir when they played in Europe for the first time.