Ha. You Got Man Boobs

DAN Clark loved the power steroids gave him - until the "American Gladiators" star discovered the muscle-enhancing drugs made him grow man-boobs, shrank his privates and turned sex into a painful experience. "Bitch t- -s, man boobs, breast-chesticles is what they're called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name. No matter what you call it, I [had] it," Clark, who was "Nitro" on the smash reality series, reveals in his memoir, "Gladiator: A True Story of 'Roids, Rage and Redemption," out next month. "I hate[d] taking off my shirt. For photo shoots, [I'd] wet my nipple with spit . . . [to] look firm instead of hanging down." As he shot seven seasons of "American Gladiators" from 1989 to 1996, he pleaded with the wardrobe stylist to make him a new uniform, but didn't tell her it was "to hide my budding breasts." He eventually underwent reduction surgery. Clark, a former LA Rams defensive lineman, used steroids for 20 years. They also took their toll on his private parts, so much so that he embarrassingly had to explain to women what was going on. "My b- - -s never really regained their size. They're kind of shriveled," he sadly told one bedmate. In addition, steroids subjected him to a "dull throbbing pain" every time he had sex.