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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Info Post
. . .why Mississippi is better than Bangladesh.

After reading last week's post by Captain Thurston which compared the individual GDP of each state in the union with those of foreign countries, I was displeased to find that Bangladesh indeed has a larger output than Mississippi.  I've searched and searched in an effort to disprove this assertion, but from what I've found I believe it to be true.

Although my pride is stinging, I've put together a list of Ten Reasons why my home state is better than Bangladesh. . .

  • 10.  We grow more cotton and less malaria.
  • 9.    Mississippi hasn't fought a civil war in 146 years.
  • 8.    Mississippi is often the most charitable state. Bangladesh?  Do you hear those sucking noises?
  • 7.    Even the poorest Mississippian has a Cadillac.
  • 6.    Unlike Bangladesh, Mississippi does not harbor British Islamic terrorists. And even if we did, they wouldn't last too long once someone found out.
  • 5.    Our indigenous music is better and caused a creative revolution.
  • 4.    We have "cassina" gambling (see Gov. Haley Barbour's pronunciation).
  • 3.    Bangladesh is surrounded by Communists, Islamofacists and Marxists.  Mississippi is surrounded by Coon-asses, Mountain people and Alabama.  However, we might trade Alabama for a few commies depending on next year's SEC football season.
  • 2.    Elvis is from Mississippi and not Bangladesh!  Hallelujah baby Jesus!
  • 1.    And the number one reason Mississippi is better: Bangladesh ain't got no collard greens, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and cracklins'!

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